New Year’s Resolutions and a follow-up

Lately I’ve been thinking about my self-diagnosed case of adult on-set ADHD. I don’t know if I can blame being a busy mom or if I feel even busier because of my inability to remain focused, but I imagine this is ultimately a “chicken or the egg” type of conundrum.

Also FYI, we found the two missing library books. One was hidden in the one tote bag I didn’t ransack the day I turned the house upside down (because I didn’t find the bag), but the other was hiding, HIDING I tell you… in the bookshelf in the playroom. Yes, I know what you are thinking. How dare a book do the inconsiderate thing of putting itself away properly!!!

Did I trust my children when they said they looked on the bookshelf? Yes, I did. My mistake.

Was this search for “hidden” books a symbol of how we live our lives in our house? I’m sorry to say, it probably is.

And so I’ve realized that something has to change. And that something mostly likely will have to start with me. I have recognized that I am constantly left feeling frazzled and less than focused. Too many times I have walked around the house looking for something that I should know where I put it, or I have remembered putting something away in the “perfect place” to later realize I have no earthly idea where said object is hiding.

Realistically it is time to admit that I’m doing too much, stretching my focus too far, and leaving myself and my family to suffer for my shortcomings. I’ve got to learn how to say “NO” and mean it. No more guilt, no more regret. I have limits, I am only human, and God still loves me even though I’m just little old me.

So that’s my super small, super easy new year’s resolution for 2011. I’m going to learn how to say “no” with a smile on my face and without letting guilt and remorse weasel their way into my heart. Yes, I would like to do everything possible for everyone, but no it isn’t going to happen. At best I’m going to make a lot of promises and fall short on most of them. So I’m choosing door number three. I want to be the woman who says yes to very little, but performs spectacularly on those few things.

If God has a sense of humor, he must be rolling around up there as he watches type A, wound tight me trying to reign in my perfectionism and “take charge” personality. I’m going to need His humor when I start saying (and meaning) these “no, thank you” responses to church and school and kids and friends and family. This is a resolution that is really going to really test me, but I’m going to do my best.

Romans 9:28

“God doesn’t count us: he calls us by name. Arithmetic is not his focus.”